Difference between revisions of "Quotes"

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== Beth ==
He's not a hot girl. He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's.
I can finally go on that trip I've been talking about.
I don't know man, Italy, Greece, Argentina...
If it were, you could call ME Ernest Hemingway.
== Goldenfold ==
== Goldenfold ==

Revision as of 12:10, 5 March 2017

Rick and Morty Quotes




5 more minute of this and I'm going to get mad!

Why would I negotiate with you?! Rick: Because we are both rational adults who don't want anything bad to happen. And because I have a human shield.

"Morty! The principal and I have discussed it, a-a-and we're both insecure enough to agree to a three-way!"

Nice, Mrs Pancakes. Real nice.

Nice one, Ms Pancakes.

'Nice to wheat you!'

Then let me GET to know you!

...not MY fault this is happening.

You know my name, that's disarming.

Nothing to read into there!

This aftershave made women want me, but it also made me impotent!

"Oh my god, how could I not see this coming? My lust, *sob* my greed! I deserve thiiiiii- (Rick cures him) Ladies, let's get out of here. I haven't learned a thiiiiiing!"


Life is effort and I'll stop when I die!

are you hungry for apples? ARE YOU HUNGRY FOR APPLESSS!?

Hmmm... human music.

God? God's turning people into insect monsters Beth. I'm the one beating them to death. Thank me.

I don't get it and I don't need to.

I wish that shotgun was my penis.

(in an impression of Johnny Carson's Carnac the Magnificent): Countries known for their sexually aggressive men...

“I wish that shotgun was my penis.” Beth: “If it was, you could call me Ernest Hemingway.”

"So woman like confidence... How convenient..."

I'm Mr. Crowbar, and here is my friend, who is also a crowbar!

Nobody's killing me until after I catch my wife with another man.

Well look where being smart got you.

Pluto's a planet.

If I've learned one thing, it's that before you get anywhere in life, you gotta stop listening to yourself.

It probably has space aids


Did you just come in through a portal?



Cause he roped me into this!

Existence is pain to a meeseeks Jerry, and we will do anything to alleviate that pain.

Dont look at me! that guy over there...roped ME into this


I'm a bit of a stickler Meeseeks, what about your short game?

Meeseeks don't usually have to exist for this long. It's gettin' weeeiiird...

Meeseeks were not born into this world fumbling for meaning, Jerry!

"Is he keeping his shoulders square?" "Oooooooh he's tryin'!"

Oh, we're welllll past that, JERRY!

Ooohhh can do.

"Whats your name mamm?"


We ALL wanna die, we're meeseeks!

We are created to serve a singular purpose, for which we will go to any lengths to fulfill!

Well he roped ME into this!

Your failures are your own, old man! I say, FOLLOW THROOOOUGH!


Well then get your shit together. Get it all together and put it in a backpack, all your shit, so it's together. ...and if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere ya know? Take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in a shit museum. I don't care what you do, you just gotta get it together... Get your shit together.

Aw, c'mon Rick. That doesn't seem so bad.

Aww, gee, you got me there, Rick.

Don't be trippin dog we got you

Don't even trip about your pants, dawg. We got an extra pair right here.

"Are you kidding? I'm hoping I can get to both of them, Rick!"

“I just killed my family! I don’t care who they were!” Rick: “I dunno, some people would pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough.”

Why are you doing this bit? We're gonna die.

You're like Hitler, except...Hitler cared about Germany, or something

"You're talking about Inception?"

"Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?”


Principal Vagina

"This is Principal Vagina. No relation." - Pilot

"...and there's NO EVIDENCE that a Latino student did it." - Pilot

"If anything happened to you I would kill myself! I love you bad, bobo!" - Rick Potion No. 9

"Principal Vagina here, don't let the name fool you; I'm very much in charge. Reminding you that tonight is our annual flu season dance. I don't know how many times I have to say this, but if you have the flu, stay home. The flu season dance is about awareness, not celebration. You don't bring dead babies to Passover." - Rick Potion No. 9

"Hi! Principal Vagina: the name's real, possibly Scandinavian." - Get Schwifty

Scary Terry

Awww, bitch!

Awww, it's you guys!

Awwww thanks, bitch!



"Oh no. I'm late to class, bitch."

You can run, but you can't hide BITCH!

These 2 halves don't belong together, bitch!


Hello Jerry, come to rub my face in urine again?

Snuffles was my slave name, you can call me snowball because my fur is pretty and white.

Where are my testicles, Summer?

Snuffles want to be understood. Snuffles need to be understood.


Ew, Grandpa, so gross! You're talking about my mom!

God, Grandpa, you're such a dick.

Go home and drink, grandpa.

Oh, wow. That's an intense line of questioning, Snuffles

Mr. Needful (The Devil)

I'm the Devil, what should I do when I fail? Give myself an ice cream?

A price for everything

I may be the Devil Summer, but your grandfather is the DEVIL.

Other Characters

I'd like to order one large person with extra people please. white people, no no no black people... and hispanic on half.

I'd like to order one large sofa chair with extra chair please. high chair, no no no recliner... and wheelchair on half.

I'd like to order one large phone with extra phones please. cell phone, no no no rotary... and payphone on half.

Alien Invasion Tomato Monster Mexican Armada Brothers Who Are Just Regular Brothers Running In A Van From An Asteroid And All Sorts Of Things: The Movie

"And now, human music." boop beep boop... boop beep boop...

dont mind those stare goblins

I am Mr. Booby Buyer. I'll buy those boobies for 25 schmeckles!

I love morty and i hope morty loves me. I want to wrap my arms around him and feel him deep inside me"

I do not have dis-colored butthole flaps.

Lookin' good!

My man!

"My name is Slip- Slippery Stair. I'll take ya down there for 25 SHMECK-ELS!"

"Puh rum pum pow!"

Slow down!


That's stupid-SMASH

"Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!"